Amy Rubin Flett

She lives in Canada with her husband, toddler, a dog and a cow. She makes super cute postcards!

Her etsy profile.

This makes me want to make things: (Actually, I started making a dress this weekend, but I left it half-done. Next time I’m in Torrance I’ll finish it & post it!)

I didn’t care for the concept of ‘home’ until some point last year when Mom wasn’t renting out our rooms and Neo & I were home and we were all in our rooms doing our own thing, just like in high school, and it felt SO nice, so comfy.

I want to get to this point in life:

At first I thought it was going to be a sad postcard (’cause settling down scares me), but then the “spring in her step” at the end made me think. Usually ‘this is it’ has a negative connotation, but in positive, happy-discovery light, it is so extremely positive.

I like her!

“You gotta fake it all the way until death!”

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/radio/programs/wits/2010/sweeney.shtml

Oh my gawd, Julia Sweeney is amazing! She’s a 51yo lady comedian/author who was a cast member on SNL ’90-’94. She is hilarious! I just read the first page of her blog. So smart, so funny!

I listened to the audio of Wits (the link above), and mostly it’s about how terrifying parenting is and how it is really like being put into another world. It’s like how my mom says that no one can ever be prepared for parenting, no matter how long you wait. Like, at any age it’s gonna be terrifying and life-changing. So then I’m like, heck, I want one now! But that’s a life-long commitment, and my future is unpredictable even without a kid, so I guess no, I don’t want one now.

When I have a lot of alone time during the day (no class on Wednesdays!), I become very happy and inspired, ’cause it’s sunny out and I’m looking at pretty things on Google Reader or watching good videos or whatever. So right now, I’m pretty dang optimistic about my future! I’m gonna study the GREs this summer and apply to CA grad schools. And take the LA Zoo Animal Caretaker class whenever that is offered. I gotta call my brother about maybe getting my car back (Mom DID buy it for me! And I need it!). So yes. Julia Sweeney is inspiring and so I am happy. “Surround yourself with things and people who [that?] inspire you.” Okay, will do!

Speaking of just wanting to have fun, I went to Coachella this year! Three days in Indio, CA, which is even deeper into the hot desert than Palm Springs. Three days of 6 fantastic stages, music playing all day every day. So many hippies and hipsters, finding the little shade there was to not die of dehydration.

I liked The Aquabats best. They’re a ska rock band, and they are amazing live because they make the concert a show. They had costumed people/things on stage that went with each song! SO FUN! I was toward the front, the moshpit made the concert more exciting. I thought about telling Boy, “My exboyfriend took me to see The Aquabats in LA! That was my second concert ever! So much fun!” but thought better of it.

I liked the sexy that is Erykah Badu. The Strokes was a proper rock band, with the completely inebriated singer word-vomiting between songs. I liked all of it! I like music and people and lit-up stages.

I wanna go to Coachella with my mom, I think that’d be funnest.

I realized yesterday that I am irresponsible.

I just wanna have fun, and so far that’s been easy for me. I am a happy person, I am naturally high and think about exciting & inspiring things all the time. In any situation, I always find the most comfortable place to be and chill out.

But you’re starting to change, you’re planning your life, and I don’t like it. I don’t wanna be a part of that, I just want you to be a part of my life, not the other way around. I can handle adding you into my life, but I cannot be added to yours. I have to have my own life.

But 80k is still a lot of money, what do I do?

I should probably be talking about this with him instead of blogging it, but again, I’m irresponsible.

I have the cold and my stomach feels bad, but I don’t think the two are related.

I’m going through Google Reader (Jerline I love it when you update a thousand entries) and listening to Jack Johnson, so I’m in a good mood! The future is scary, stop it, I want my inspiring future back! Maybe 80k isn’t so bad.

＠(‘ェ’)＠ Bahhhh

Senior year in college is much much harder than anyone’s ever told me. I’ve always thought I had my whole life figured out. But I don’t! I don’t know what I’ll be doing in four months! It’s super scary. I know whatever path I choose I’ll know how to be happy.. but I don’t wanna choose, I don’t wanna grow, I don’t wanna!

I got into Lund University, yay! But I just realized that it’s $80k total for the two years. Are those two years really worth a lifetime of paying back loans? Possibly. There’s a possibility that I’ll get a nice job coming out of grad school and $80k would seem like a great investment in that scenario.

My stomach hurts ’cause I don’t wanna think. As long as I’m not thinking about the future, I’m super happy. Which is new to me; the ‘future’ has always been inspiring and exciting for me. At this point, it seems like whatever path I choose, a part of my heart will break. SO DRAMATIC but it’s trueeeee!

I’m happy. I love my friends, I love my mom, I love my boyfriend, I love my current life. I don’t wanna let go! >:T

Boyfriend got a rice cooker so I’d have food to eat at his place. HAHAHA LOVE!!!