a Life Is Difficult entry

I had a genuine talk with a solicitor today. It helped that it was for worldwide refugees and backed by the UN (interesting!) and that he was a Japanophile (we talked about Japan too). Anyway, I like it when strangers become human beings.

However! I have no intention of saving refugees with monthly donations. Which I told him, but I used the excuse that I have no income, which is true but not the main reason. I don’t want to feed / give medicine to refugees because there are too many people in the world. I know it’s not fair, but sometimes things need to take their course. If Somalia is no longer a place where Homo sapien can survive, then maybe no one should live there. So they migrate to a land where there is food / water, okay. But if there are too many people crowding Kenya because of that, the number of people need to decrease.

It sounds heartless, but only because us first-world country people are wrecked with guilt! Okay, no, that was too AynRandian. I care about people, but I care A LOT about people. Saving people now = killing SO MANY later when the earth is overOVERfilled with people and famine & war are inevitable. [Oh man, I just realized: maybe I only care about it when it is a threat to my future generations..]

It’s difficult!! Yes, we have medicine to cure people, so why not stop suffering and cure them all? It makes sense and it’s nice. I like nice! With my donation, a child can have a blanket so they’re not freezing at night. I like having blankets too, and it’s only $15. Ah, feel good! But then what?

It’s hard because I understand completely how awesome it is to help those who are in need. But I don’t see how it helps anything in the long run. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. I wonder what Confucius would say. Or Socrates.

And, like, I want kids.

writing and reading

I came across a website (advicetowriters.com) via my Reader and now I’m really inspired to write more! But only as a therapeutic outlet, ’cause the times I’m most confused are when I go weeks without writing in my diary. Although someday I’d like to write and illustrate a children’s book! Maybe I’ll get into that when I have my own to test on (on which to test).

I like words! I’m learning ~40 words a day for 50 days to prep for the GRE in September. Words that start with ab- and ad- are confusing, but now I’m at am- to ap- and it’s pretty fun. I’d like these words to be in my brain forever, but that doesn’t happen naturally. I read somewhere “Don’t worry about memorizing everything right now. You’re young; the things you need to know, you will learn as you grow.” But I’m kinda grown (twenty-two, what what!) and I want to know more words. = time to read!!

Jermababy loves reading and blogs about it and MAN I wanna be a bookworm too!! I’m stuck a fourth into Pygmalion, so I guess that is what is going on. I also want to reread Dr. Doolittle (in Japanese) again, I loved it when I was in 2nd grade and I want to improve my Japanese reading. I could be a bookworm again but. But nothing, so yeah. Ooh I’m also stuck at a tenth into Mark Twain’s autobiography; I read Tina Fey’s autobio, loved it, and delved into Twain’s, expecting the same fast-paced hilarity. BUT NOPE! Mark Twain is funny, but he is not a comedian.

My future is taking some form again and it is FUN! A Master’s can get me a job in teaching without having to get a credential. DID YOU KNOW??? So, I do some animal work, and when I’m satisfied, I teach Calculus and get summer breaks. OKAY, AWESOME. And then I own a bison farm. And a restaurant. And a summer house in Sweden. Now I know why/when I’m a happy person, it’s ’cause my dreams are huge and I laugh in the face of danger, HA HA HA! am running. Figuratively. Slowly.

What else. I love Los Angeles.